The MILF

by Mitch on 17/10/2003

I know this is my fourth blog entry today and it’s getting beyond a joke, but I promise to try and hurry. I have to let everyone in on a short experience of mine tonight at the local supermarket. Tonight I needed some hair gel – okay stop it with the comments or this weblog will be over in the click of my fingers – because the stuff I was using was making me sticky and making me look like a girl.

So I am walking down the aisle sizing up the different brands and saw a new one being advertised as being “for blokes”. Pretty funny I know considering all the gay jokes I will cop for this off my friends, but let’s progress into the story. I am standing there and I put the new gel into my basket and from behind me I hear a comment about how good it is to see that some guys can unashamedly look after themselves and take pride in their appearance. I laughed it off considering I only use it because if I don’t my hair is fluffy and makes me look like more of a dork than usual. As I turn around the person who made the comment caught my eye and to my surprise she was actually quite attractive. Attractive, but clearly a bit older than me considering her son was with her and he was about 15 years old.

Oh my god! Did a MILF just make a pass at me? I mean, she had to have been at least 35 years old, which isn’t that old, but seriously I am only 21. She smiles up big, which is even worse because the look on her son’s face is that of sheer embarrassment. I really felt for the kid, but I couldn’t help laughing (on the inside) at this 35 year old trying to pick up a youngen’ with her son present.

So I laughed this off and made way for the checkouts. I figure it was time to get out, but just then I realize that I have forgotten to get a bottle of coke like I wanted. I figured the coke was miles away from the aisle with the gel etc. in it, so I make a dash hoping to get out before the clutches of the MILF came for me again. I walk towards the express lane and notice that the MILF is currently last in the line.

Do I line up behind her or do I find another checkout? I look down the row and every checkout has at least 600+ item customers and I am looking at a long wait. I bit down hard and make way for the express lane. Much to my comfort she is too busy fluffing her hair for all the guy walking in to be worried about the guy standing behind her and her son looks like he is about to kill her. All in all a funny experience and a narrow escape of the perverted older women.

Dear MILF,

If you are reading this, you must know that in another time and place your comment may have been taken nicely and I could have fulfilled a fantasy. I am sorry, but I have a girlfriend right now and hopefully won’t be done with her until you are old and withered. Thanks for the compliment anyway.

– Mitch

P.S. Nice mini skirt, seriously. 😉

Just a small note for the anonymous swine who once again emailed me without revealing who they are to abuse me on being a “cheating bastard”. Perhaps you need to reactivate your humor chip and read this entry again? The entire point of this entry was that I have *no* intentions on cheating on my girlfriend, but rather to emphasize the hilarity of the MILF and her poor poor son. If it was your mother then I apologise deeply for checking her out, but the lady has some pretty nice legs. I suggest getting a life and stop living out of other peoples weblogs, especially someone as boring as I.

No comments yet.

  1. 17/10/2003Kevin Wilson says:

    Like you wouldn’t get a kick out of some 15 year old kid being forced to call you dad after the wedding. LOL

    Oh, I am so sick in the head.

  2. 19/10/2003phalacee says:

    errr… dude… you know what MILF stands for right … maybe MILFIDHAGF would be better … the last bit standing for ‘if i didnt have a girlfriend’ 😛

    anyway, nice job, never hurts to have some one check you out, at least you know the person you with aint blind (or biased) when they say you are good looking if you have someone else ballin’ you over

  3. 19/10/2003Mitch says:

    Yeah, woops. She was definately a MILFIDHAGF – lol. Well maybe if I had of said that, my friend the anonymous swine wouldn’t be whinging at me.

  4. 20/10/2003Kevin Wilson says:

    Hey, how come this post ended up on the “More Fun Than A Barrel o’ Monkeys” page as well as here?

    You know, having a nail driven up your nose would probably be more fun than the aforementioned barrel o’ monkeys. I’ll just nip out and see.

  5. 21/10/2003Mitch says:

    My bad, all fixed now. :-)

  6. 23/10/2003bleaver says:

    hahaha nice work mitch

    MILFs rock.. i had a MILF hitting on me the other day.. pity she wasnt what I would call attractive in the slightest