Archive of published articles on October, 2003

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Pessimism

16/10/2003

Remember that funny post I did yesterday titled “lazy kid”? Remember you took the cool picture, printed it up and gave it to your gran for her birthday? Remember how funny it was as she tried to laugh through her spasmatic reaction to realising what a demon her grandchild was?

Well I was so uninspired by the hilarity of it all I went to the Dispair, Inc website and purchased a screen saver. It set me back $20, but I figure that after I take copies of each image, print them as gifts and stickers and so forthe I will definately make my money back. The entire thing was so funny that I had to share this one with everyone, especially one of my good mates Paul (who is the king of pessimism – so he tells me). Enjoy!

Update: Paul has informed me that he is a “realist” and not a “pessimist”. I always say the glass is half full, so anyone who disagrees is a pessimist.

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Lazy kid

15/10/2003

What do you think of the headings? Pretty cool huh? I downloaded another movable type plugin from mt-plugins.org earlier that creates graphical headings for me using the font I like. I think it adds to the weblog nicely. If you are a fellow movabletype user I strongly recommend visiting mt-plugins.org and downloading some handy extras.

What else have I been up to? Well nothing. I had a lazy and unproductive day. I should have been making a huge start on my Systems Analysis assignment, but I really didn’t have the motivation, and let’s face it, it takes a lot of motivation to do something you don’t want to do. I have never felt less motivated in my life than I have these last 5 or 6 days. A cattle prodder couldn’t get me moving, it’s really quite pathetic. In honor of my newfound laziness, I have uploaded a very pretty picture. Enjoy. LoL.

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Statistics

14/10/2003

Hey, I just downloaded a cool plugin for moveabletype that can give me statistics on words etc. used in my weblog. I just added a “Weblog Stats” section on the sides with some statistics on words and things used in the weblog. I want to do a word count on a specific word, so if there is a word I use a lot that I am not aware of let me know.

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Early Mornings

14/10/2003

I think 28 Days said it best in their song “Early Mornings”…

Early mornings make me angry
And routine takes away the very essence of the day
But when reflection shows a need for the latter then it matters
So I don’t waste away

I used to wakeup at eleven and I
Never did shit I’m thinking as I pen it that I
Could have used my time a little wiser
But it’s too late I should have fucken opened my eyes up

Don’t you agree? Nothing can be more dissatisfying than having to get up before lunchtime. Who on earth has the right to make the sun come up and expect people awake at this time? It’s ludicrous. I realize that back at the dawn of time some loser decided to make “mornings” a time for work, so I believe I will build a time machine and go back and kill said person.

I mean, there are pros for every con, being up so early opens a lot of windows. I can potentially get a lot of my assignment done. I can potentially go to McDonalds for breakfast. I can potentially do a lot of things, but I am too damned tired and grumpy to do anything! I am sitting in front of the computer typing and pulling the crud from around my eyes. I have no energy, no motivation and NO CAFFEINE! What kind of cruel cruel world is this? Actually I am staying away from coffee – that’s right, my one true love is now off limits. Lately one cup of coffee in the morning is enough to keep me up all night and that’s just not good.

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Domain goodness!

13/10/2003

Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain!

…sick of it…?

Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain!

Okay, I will shut up now

So as you should be able to tell, I have gone and bought a second domain name! Why? Cause I damn well feel like it, that’s why! Basically the University Administration Unit told me to move it or lose it, I didn’t want to have a boring URL, and what’s $14.95 a year anyway? Nothing, that’s what! So I spent some money and here you are.

The bonus of having it hosted the way it is, is that friends can now have weblogs. That’s right; if you are a nice little kid and want me to host your weblog for you, just let me know. I can do something like username.bananasontoast.org or bananasontoast.org/username, or whatever you want. Well just those two, so not really *whatever* you want. You just have to be sexy, naked and you have to promise your first born to me. Okay, all except the first born, and no naked guys.

I have just spent about the last 4 hours installing scripts, rewriting code, making template files, fixing the color scheme, drinking beer, phoning sex hotlines… oh… um, scratch that last one. You get the point, a lot of work has gone in, so if you are reading this BE GRATEFUL!

So enjoy the site, be sure to let me know if you want your own weblog account and remember…

Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain! Domain!

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Bubble gum and sleepless nights

9/10/2003

I swear I will never drink coffee again! It’s 2:00am and I honestly can’t sleep, which sucks cause I wanted to be up at 6:00am to begin a huge day of assignments and stuff. I hate sleep; it’s the most useless thing in the world. Get too much and your tired, get too little and your tired, get just the right amount and things are okay, but only until the next time you mess up and throw your patterns out of whack. I have the worst sleep patterns on earth, I know this, but I feel as though god is taking a cruel amusement in toying with my sleep by giving me too much one day and not enough the next.

I don’t know what bubble gum is supposed to be about, but I thought it was a good start to an interesting title.

I have given up my search for my lost journal. I started my new journal a couple of weeks ago, but I was still hoping to find my old one – an old scrapbook filled with stories I had written and my thoughts. I am heaps upset at finally facing the fact it is gone for good. I have looked everywhere and I am now certain it is nowhere to be found. My old journal had most of my creative writing in it, all the good stuff anyway, and a lot of personal notes to myself. Losing it is like losing a big chunk of myself, and it totally sucks. I am only 8 pages into my new journal, which considering my last journal was a 500-page notebook almost full, really sucks. Every time I feel the need to write a story or do something creative I just get stuck really bad. I am sure that any readers I may have would have noticed a rather large decline in the humor of my online journal.

As of tomorrow I am going to start making the blogging a little more casual. I will post at least 3 or 4 times a week, but I’m not going to put pressure on myself to blog every single day anymore. I suggest if you wish to be notified of my new entries you subscribe using the links on the right hand side.

Okay, I shall try again to find the slumber I so greatly desire. If I have to make another blog entry out of boredom before 8:00am I am going to be severely upset!

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I’m blogging this

8/10/2003

Is this the best T-shirt or what? I think YES! I think it is so sexy that soon I might have to pay the ridiculous conversion rates from Australia to America and buy it. That or a kick ass Homestar Runner shirt. But considering right now I am broke and have no positive outlook for cash it will go on the back burner.

Anyone want a web designer? I will work for cash, food, cola, coffee, bandwidth or thinkgeek apparel. I may also consider working for precious gems, lentils or perhaps even valuable metals, but only if we speak first. LoL.

You know what I want? I want a midget programmer to do my biddings. And do you want to know what I don’t want? Of course you do, I don’t want to have to get up in the morning tomorrow and have to finish this damned assignment. Piece of crap degree, I mean seriously, who needs a degree right? LoL.

Hey, I feel like blogging a joke, and considering this is like a bus ride you guys can just come with me on my little ride! NOW SIT DOWN!

Monica Lewinsky went up to a pharmacist and stated, "I need to buy condoms."
The pharmacist looked up and asked, "Shall I put it on your bill?"
"No, thanks," Monica responded. "I prefer to put them on him myself."
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Just like old times

6/10/2003

Man, I had the best phone call today. Me and a good mate of mine, Harey, had a great conversation remembering old times and stuff. It was the best, him and I were great friends back at UNE and I can’t even remember how many times we got blind rotten drunk and stumbled home together.

We are going to be getting together sometime this week, or perhaps on the weekend, for a few beers and a few games of pool. I can’t wait to see him, we have had some really memorable times together.

Dammit, I just went back and put all those links and italics in and now I dunno what I was going to write about. Umm… I might write another entry later if I remember.

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I’m on the outside

5/10/2003

I absolutely love the song “Outside” by Staind. Man, what a funky tune. I think when I first listened to it I thought it was a love song or something, but after reading the lyrics I now realise otherwise. I think everyone knows some self-righteous git they could relate this song to.

So I downloaded the tabliture to this song and learnt it the other morning. Considering the quality of the sounde etc. it was a hell easy song to play, comprising of only 9 chords. I had some good fun with it and trying to sing and play at the same time proved as humorous as all the other times I have tried.

I scored a Heineken Operator Logo last night after my blog entry, which I think just rules. Gotta love the heineken. I also sat down and made a “powered by heineken” logo to go on my website. I thought that was pretty appropriate considering just how much coding I do while slightly under the influence.

I remember back at Uni getting 100% for an assignment I didn’t even think I would get complete. I coded the entire thing while drinking goon shots with T-Bone on my bed. Now if that’s not impressive, nothing is! By the time I submitted it at 11:30pm and T-Bone and I caught a taxi up top I was plastered.

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Australian Television

4/10/2003

Tonight, I am reminded more than ever of a great joke I used to tell all the time back in school:

Q: What’s the difference between Australian Television and a piece of crap?
A: You can’t change the channels on a piece of crap.

Why am I reminded of it so strongly tonight? Because next Thursday there is a special presentation called “Australia’s Most Identical Twins.” What a load of absolute rubbish! Could there be a topic less interesting? Who really cares how identical they are? Unless it’s nude bisexual lesbians, no one on this planet could give a second care!

And lets not forget the worlds grossest commercial ever!

There is currently an commercial on television advertising double sided denture tape, or some such nonsense, with a pair of 50 year olds pashing. That is the most disgusting thing ever, there is nothing more likely to give someone visuals of their parents making whoopy than that.

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