Archive of published articles on November, 2003

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Ahh! My eyes!

28/11/2003

Okay, my eyes are stinging so badly that I believe they could burst out bleeding any second. I have decided to have a go at making a web comic online along with my brother and one of his good mates Shaun. See Shaun’s artwork, here and here on my website. Well once I got the idea in my head, I just couldn’t stop. I sat up until *very* late last night writing scripts, ideas for characters, ideas for plot lines and where the comic could go. All in all I had about six and a half thousand words at 2am for my brother and Shaun to read over. They’ll love that.

Once a few more things are cemented and the comic is a go-ahead I will post some news on here about it. My personal website will now be entirely held here and colonparenthesis is going to be transformed into “just another web comic”.

I have done a lot of looking around at various online comics and how they are run and I have a feeling that just another web comic could be very successful if my humour is as funny as I hope it is. I’ve also done a little bit of graphic work on the graphics I will use throughout the website containing the comic, but for right now I don’t want to release anything.

In a way I feel like another cam-whore, following the latest internet trend, but this is something that really interests me. I’m no artist, but I think I would be really good at writing scripts, digitizing the artworks and producing the comic. So therefore, Josh and Shaun will be the comic artists. Any words of wisdom and support would be greatly appreciated.

Tell me what you think of the logo too…

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More Boobies!

27/11/2003

Has anyone ever heard of MAdGE? I’m not talking about Homer Simpson’s wife, but instead, I am talking about Mothers Against Genetic Engineering, New Zealand. What a bunch of crazy Kiwis those lot are! They are bangin’ on about how genetic engineering is unsafe and uncool.

So in a bid to try and further awareness about their cause, they unleashed this poster upon New Zealanders in Auckland and Wellington. Their slogan? “Why not just genetically engineer women for milk?

Now I know there are a lot of guys walking around New Zealand saying to themselves, ‘Dang, I gotta find me a four-breasted bride,’ and, ‘she would beat the hell out of a sheep,’ but what I really want to know is if ANYONE at all is thinking of harassing McCains or joining their cause? So please, post as many comments as you wish!

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oh my guard

25/11/2003

I spent money I can’t afford to spend. I am a bad bad boy! I bought a digital camera and I *totally* shouldn’t have. Although I have to sell my palm pilot and I will get more than enough to pay for the cam, I know that something is going to come up soon and completely screw me for cash. On the other hand I am playing with my cam, having fun and I can’t wait to take some new pictures (read: there will soon be more photos on my website). It’s also very shiny and has that new car smell!

Oh yeah, here is a pic of my new camera, swish huh?

Okay, so my laptop still hasn’t arrived, but it will soon… I hope…

So, who likes stuff? Me personally, I love stuff. Stuff of all kinds and shapes and colors. Okay, and I’m bored.

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Fark!

21/11/2003

Well, my laptop was supposed to arrive today. Did it? No. Why? Because I was foolish and dealt with Ebay. I am really scared that I won’t get the laptop or my money back, which totally sucks considering how broke I am. I know I might get the laptop soon, but the guy sent it like 2-3 weeks ago, gave me a faulty tracking id and has given me more revised ETAs on the laptop than I can count.

So angry and annoyed, I will try to think of something fun and make a happier post again soon.

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me is sick

20/11/2003

I have tonsilitis, so I can’t talk for long – lol – I just thought I would tell the world that I am sick. If I don’t blog for a week or something straight, please contact an ambulance cause I think I might die. I am in so much pain every time I swallow and it is making me so run down. I feel really wierd taking penicillin, cause I’ve only ever heard of it in movies. Well, I am tired, I am going to go get some lunch and I will blog again soon.

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Ode to Budgets

19/11/2003

Budgets, oh Budgets
You really do suck

Thank you! thank you! Oh, you people are too kind! Yes, I did write that myself! Thank you! I know I’m a genius! Thank you and goodnight!

* exit stage left *

And for my next number; 34 pictures of me naked. Hahaha, just kidding peoples, I wouldn’t wish such a mortifying thing on my worst enemy.

So as you can guess; I am broke and I am sick of having to keep things to a budget. Why can’t I finally realize my dreams of being rich? Why? Because I chose to study didn’t I? I’m pretty sure that the conversation went something like this….

For the sakes of this making sense, you must remember the arguement is between the two sides of every mans brain, including mine. The side of the brain that thinks about money will be called “Big Brain” and the side that thinks about “study” and girls will be called “Little Brain“.

Big Brain: Seriously, lets get into the work force and make some of that proverbial “fat cash”.
Little Brain: Pfft, are you kidding me? Do you know how many girls there are at this University? Do you know how much girls worship guys with degrees?
Big Brain: That may be so, but girls also worship guys who earn a living!
Little Brain: They do not; they worship cars and large penises.
Big Brain: And money, let’s not forget that.
Little Brain: But all the hotties! So many to choose from!
Big Brain: Yeah, but you will be broke, stupid!

Then I am pretty sure Little Brain had the wise idea of getting drunk, killing off a fair proportion of the brain cells held within Big Brain and the argument ended there. Hence, I went off and study. Man, what a jib, there are like no hotties down at Armidale University, honestly. Little Brain needs to get his facts straight before he decides to blow me a fortune next time

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Exam Number Three

18/11/2003

It’s just 25 minutes until my exam. Last night, between being nervous and being the only the second night I have spent alone in about a month, I just couldn’t sleep. I feel sick right now so I am going to get a Red Bull on the way to my exam, there is nothing like caffeine and taurine to make you feel alive! I feel sick and rundown and although I only got 3 hours sleep last night I feel less tired than I have for the last week. Alright, enough whinging and whining, while writing this I revised some last minute stuff, let’s hope I’ve done enough study.

* gone: 08:51 am *

* back: 11:37 am *

Just think, I haven’t been writing in 2 hours, but for you it seems like I have just left. First the bad news, I failed. I am, of course, nowhere near certain of this, but I am not confident I passed either, therefore, I feel like being a pessimist. Let’s just hope I passed.

Now for the humor…

It’s approximately 9:33 am and the reading time has just expired. The geriatric turns to us and says in a somewhat slurred (he is possibly drunk on that religious wine stuff) voice, “you may now begin.” Thanks pecker head, I pick up my pen and begin to scribble. Exactly 10 seconds later, my nose starts running and all the dust from the goddam church I was being examined in was up my nose well and truly. I am sneezing and sniffing for the next 2 hours.

It’s approximately 9:40 am and I am part way through blitzing Question 1. I look up to find that the girl in front of me is reading her booklet, entitled, “K-6 Mathematics” and pounding away ferociously at her calculator. I’m sorry, this moron is studying 3rd year teaching (I saw her exam paper as I was coming in) and she needs a freakin’ calculator to do (at a maximum) Year 6 work? When I was in Year 6 I wasn’t allowed to use a calculator, which basically means at age 12 I had more intellect than this person who is at least 20 years old – man, how pathetic. Honestly, the morons who do education degrees and later go on to become an influence in young children’s lives, it’s honestly quite frightening.

It’s approximately 10:00 am and the brainiac in front of me is breathing heavily and quite clearly trying her hardest not to cry. She must have forgotten how to spell “echidna” or what the capital of NSW is. She’s beginning to sob and I am trying so hard not to laugh. She makes a break for the toilet and returns a few minutes later wiping her eyes. Someone should have told her we were in a church and we could hear her bellowing, but I sure didn’t have the heart. Again, she is punching at her calculator as if her life depends on it. Considering I can see two Law students (they have big text books with them), an accounting student (he said hi to me outside) and no one else with a “K-6 Mathematics” booklet, it’s safe to say that she is the biggest moron in the room – save maybe the 60 year old alter boy. I laugh quietly to myself until I am warned.

It is approximately 10:30 am, the one-hour mark, and everyone starts getting a little fidgety and starts writing faster. It is now apparent that the moron studying Primary Education has given up; she leaves the building crying her eyes out. I think perhaps she forgot her watercolors and was asked for a self-portrait or maybe she went out of the lines and forgot an eraser. Oh well.

It is approximately 11:00 am and I begin finishing up. I have answered all of the questions I knew and made a good guess at the questions I thought I knew a little of. I am starting to worry because I had wanted to do better. I guess we will just wait and see how my marks are when they turn up – if they are good I’ll post them here, if not, I will probably just forget to mention.

It is approximately 1:00pm. I am typing this. I am hungry. I’ll go eat lunch now.

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The Low-Fidelity All-Star

18/11/2003

Hey everyone, go and find out what sort of Hipster you are, it’s a pretty funny quiz but Aussies will have a little trouble understanding who some of the people are. Enjoy!

By the way, here is my results…

The Low-Fidelity All-Star: he was born with the cool, and it's totally natural.  He runs the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they can ingest as much coffee as he) to the geeky hipster%

You are the Low-Fidelity All-Star. You were born with your cool, and it’s totally natural. You run the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they can ingest as much coffee as you) to the geeky hipster (Mario Kart, anyone?).

What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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GRRR & @ * % !!!!

17/11/2003

I don’t want to study. It drives me so damn crazy sometimes when I can’t concentrate that I almost question if I want or deserve this degree. I sit here all day long trying to read and comprehend 70 A4 pages of notes. That should take a few hours at most, not all damn day. I feel like some Attention Deficit Disorder kid who should be chastised at school, instead I am on my own and the only person responsible is myself, perhaps I should punch myself in the head…

*OOMF*

Oooowwwwww!

…stupid head. Hehehe, that’ll learn ya!

Note to self: That probably killed more brain cells and was probably less than helpful.

Anyway, last exam tomorrow. Even though I am stressed and worried about how I will do, I guess there is nothing for me to do now than get a good nights sleep and do my best. Hopefully I will get my laptop over the next few days and I’ll be able to do a lot more posting and I’m sure it will be a lot more interesting when I am no longer stressed.

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Heineken and Study…

14/11/2003

Heineken + Study = Success!

That’s right kids, it’s a simple formula to remember. Simply for every page of study you complete (be it reading, writing.. or err… arithmetic?) you have a mouthful… When you are drunk you should be filled with knowledge, and you should also *really* need to pee.

Here I sit, reading lecture notes on Operating System design and fundamental data basics, so I thought I would add excitement to my study session by drinking a Heineken or two while I enjoy the boring treats my University has to offer.

So bored. I feel like drinking myself into oblivion to be perfectly honest, but I won’t. Time to work! Yes, work!

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