Happy Fucking Holidays

by Mitch on 20/12/2004

I am feeling really emo right now. It’s a combination of feeling somewhat lonely and the fact that Christmas is here. I guess I have been feeling this way for a few weeks at least, but I never really admitted it to myself until last night. As I was headed to bed I lit a candle (as I do every night) and some incense and pulled myself into bed and I just realized how much I was longing to have someone to talk to about everything that is happening in my life lately. I know I can talk to my friends, and I do, but we all just have so much shit going on that it is hard to sit and talk about it all. I don’t think I am ready for a full-on relationship right now. Soon maybe, but not at this very moment. I guess it’d just be nice to have someone to talk to.

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, oh how I loathe thee. When I was growing up, we used to spend out Christmas at my grandfathers house. My grandfather was my favorite person in the whole world and was the glue of our family; since he died things have come a little unstuck. I used to spend Christmas with my 30-something cousins, 16 or something uncles and aunties, grandparents and immediate family. It used to be a time of year that I looked forward too, but now there are hardly any of my family left talking. Not only this, but as old age would seem to have it, I am starting to see through Christmas and realizing that it’s not a time to make other people happy, but it’s a time to spend exorbitant amounts of money on people who should be doing the same back to you.

I’m lonely, I’m emo and Christmas has lost it’s meaning. Bummer.

No comments yet.

  1. 20/12/2004Coops says:

    Yeah, Christmas can never be as good as it was as a kid, no matter how hard you try.

    *sigh* the woes of growing up and having a greater understanding of what’s going on around us…

    I think I speak for all of your mates when I say: “hope you have a great Christmas buddy!”

  2. 20/12/2004Jay says:

    christmas is what you make it dude!
    i know what you mean about it kind of losing its meaning and everything – but it gets most of my family together, and its an excuse to spoil everybody, which i love doing.
    keep your head up, and if all else fails, get shitfaced :-p
    cherry mistmas besticles!

  3. 20/12/2004Mitch Malone says:

    Thanks guys!

    Jay: It’s not so much that I don’t make the best of it, or hate everything about it, it’s just not as cool as it was when I was growing up. I miss hanging out with my 50+ family members and sneaking off and drinking beer in the paddock.

    Coops: You love the man-sausage.

  4. 21/12/2004sassy says:

    Christmas is a great time of year for family, but dont dwell on the lack of family members just enjoy the members that are with you on the day. :-)

  5. 22/12/2004The Backflipboy says:

    Nothing ever looks the same as it was when you were a kid – Christmas is just the biggest example of the massive life changes we go through as we age. Pick any family oriented event and it is the same.

    I think that you should look forward to Christmas because at least you will get to spend the day with the people you love and care for. Some people won’t be enjoying it because they have to work and have no-one to share it with at all.